Weddings can be a great occasion to show off an incredible outfit, but in this particular case, a woman’s choice to wear a traditional dress to the nuptials did not go smoothly.
In a viral post uploaded to Reddit’s Am I The ******* subreddit, which can be seen here, user Ok-History7114 explained she is a Black African woman who at the time was working in Germany.
The Reddit user, 27, said she was invited to the wedding of a colleague’s daughter and was told the dress code was “dress to impress,” and in turn decided to wear a traditional outfit.
She said many attendees complimented her outfit and she was asked questions about it, but later noticed a change in her colleague’s treatment of her.
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“My colleague seemed colder than usual, but I paid it no mind since she’s the mother of [the] bride and could be preoccupied,” the Reddit user said. “The bride is downright rude to me, but again I give her grace. I congratulate her and thank her for including me.”
“Monday I walked into whispers in the office, people acting strangely and more reserved than usual,” she explained. “An office friend pulls me aside and fills me in: [The] bride’s mother is fuming.
“My outfit was too extravagant, over the top, and inappropriate. I drew attention from the bride and commandeered the room: I was rude and disrespectful. She told people all about it, apparently.”
The Reddit user concluded: “Where I’m from, there’s no such thing as ‘outshines the bride.’ Weddings are a fashion show and a chance to wear your best and brightest clothes. They told me this isn’t Africa (which was racially coded) and people here have manners.”
Since being uploaded, the post has attracted 15,500 upvotes and more than 6,300 comments.
Newsweek has contacted Ok-History7114 for comment via Reddit.
Wedding Expert’s View
“I firmly believe that it’s impossible to outshine the nearly weds on their wedding day, as the couple will be unmistakable, even just by their radiant, ‘just married’ glow,” wedding expert and Hitched.co.uk editor Zoe Burke told Newsweek.
“Weddings do have a lot of cultural significance and connotations, so I think it’s understandable that guests would want to wear clothing that is culturally significant to them. I would see it as a mark of respect for the situation, rather than an attempt to outshine anybody.
“If you, as a guest, are unsure about your outfit choice, it’s fairly common to just send a photo to the couple beforehand and ask if they’re OK with that particular look. I’ve known of a few guests to do this, particularly if their outfit includes white or lace. If they don’t want you to wear it, they should be able to give a valid reason why and if you don’t agree with the reasoning, you can decline the invitation.”
Many of those who commented on the post hit out at the way the bride’s mother handled the situation.
Fralupo said: “The mother is at fault here. Not only for being a gossip and for giving you bad advice, but also for inviting you to her daughter’s wedding. The couple should be inviting people.”
JoeBarelyCares added: “I wish more brides stopped worrying about what their guests wear.”
DuckyFeathers commented: “How can anyone outshine the bride unless they’re wearing an actual wedding dress is beyond me.”
Uncommon Knowledge
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
