It’s worth waiting for the one you deserve.
This is Jill Amirault’s advice to women who are anxious to find a man who desires, respects and prioritizes them. Amirault, 26, recently posted a video to TikTok revealing the “golden retriever” man she’s found who does just this. Since it was posted, her video has received over 200,000 views and nearly 17,000 likes. She spoke to Newsweek about the mindset shift that she said enabled this love.
“POV: This time last year, I was begging a medium-ugly man to be with me. It gets better, I promise. Don’t settle, girls!” she captioned the video. “We love a golden retriever.” The video shows her boyfriend tying her shoe lace for her.
Amirault said this relationship came into her life after a bad experience with another person that left her reeling.
“A year ago, I honestly thought my life was over and I would never be happy,” she told Newsweek. “My toxic situationship had dumped me and I truly hit rock bottom. I dated a little bit right after that but then took a few months break from the apps and from trying to meet someone on a night out. I actually didn’t want men to come near me for a period of time.”
Six months ago, Amirault met her current boyfriend on Hinge. The video she captured of him showcases his most genuine form, she said.
“It was the fourth time that day my shoes had come undone, and I started filming without him knowing…we have different ways of showing we care,” she said. “My hope with this video was that it would reach another girl who, similar to me, needs a reminder that a…man who sends mixed signals is not her soulmate, and there is most definitely someone else out there.”
Her Advice? Stop Searching
Amirault said that her time off from dating helped her reorient toward a different outlook on relationships.
“I never want to force something again,” she said. “I think when we stop trying to force timelines and relationships, that’s when things can work out how they’re supposed to. I met my boyfriend because I shifted my mindset to ‘I’m just going to enjoy life and assume I’ll meet my person at some point,’ instead of trying to picture my whole life with a guy after a first date.”
She spoke to comments on her video that claimed she was lucky and those from users who said they were stressed about not having found their own “golden retriever”.
“I’m only 26 and they’re only 30,” she said. “People get divorced at 35 and remarried at 70. Life is always changing and nothing is guaranteed.”
Amirault is adamant about going with the flow—and while some may think this attitude will lead them to their “soulmate”—this is not a viable aim, she said. Going with the flow also means knowing that things may not always work out.
“I’m very happy in my relationship right now but you never know where things will go,” she said. “I could be single again in a year—and that’s okay if that’s what I feel is best for me, or if my boyfriend decides it’s not working for him anymore.”
Uncommon Knowledge
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.