As always, Billy Brownless has said what most of Australia is thinking – and said it in a way only he can.
The footy great turned media personality has delivered one of his famous bakes in the wake of the First Ashes Test and it was English bowler Ollie Robinson on the receiving end.
We’ll clarify that Billy’s bakes are largely tongue-in-cheek and delivered for a laugh, so don’t take this too seriously.
But poor old Robinson – or “Floginson” as Billy has renamed him – will have never caught it quite like this before.
Billy popped off on Triple M on Tuesday after Australia secured a thrilling two-wicket win in a match where Robinson made regular headlines for swearing at Usman Khawaja and disrespecting our tail-end batsmen.
“We can’t hold him back any longer,” co-host James Brayshaw said. “This moment has been working him over.”
“Jimmy boy, I’m not counting my chickens. It’s a long series and that was a very close call,” Billy began.
“But you know who can properly go and get f**ked? Ollie ‘the sh*t carter’ Robinson!
“Fair dinkum Jim. I can have Stokesy, he plays like an Aussie. I can have Rooty, a good player — and a good name.
“I’m even warming to Broady, Jim. He’s not as big a flog as I thought he was. And, he’s actually a bloody good bowler.
“But Ollie Robinson, give me a f**king spell! The **** bowls 128km/h throwdowns Jim! Then he struts around like he’s the great D.K Lillee.
“On top of that he has the nerve to say we’ve got three number 11s. This coming from a f**k who averages 12, Jim, 12!
“Those three numbers 11s seem to handle your crap s**t alright, don’t worry about that Ollie Floginson.
“He sledges the people’s champ – Uzzie Khawaja, when he’s on 140 by the way Jim. This bloke is an A-Grade ****.
“He’s played 16 tests, Jim, 16. Harry Brook the other dopey-looking bastard who always has his fat mouth open. He’s played eight!
“This tool has properly got under my skin, Jimmy boy. Learn some manners, not hard. And find 10km/h pretty quick or your unfit arse will be back at Sussex quick smart, fat arse.
“BazBall my arse, I’m sick of it. Cummo’s a legend, the GOAT’s, the GOAT. Lords is our house, we love playing at Lords.
“Under the Southern Cross I stand, a twig of wattle in my hand. Ollie Robinson, you can go and get f***ked! Fair dinkum, I’ve had enough of him.
“See how I’ve left old porky Bairstow alone? I’ve got one word of advice for porky Bairstow, leave your snout out of the trough. Push the table away porky.
“Ollie Floginson – fair dinkum!”
To be fair to Robinson he actually had a pretty decent Test match. He was England’s second-best bowler behind Stuart Broad, taking five wickets, and scored 17 not out and 27 in his two digs batting at nine.
Originally published as Billy’s four-minute bake of Ollie Robinson is pure brutality: ‘Go and get f***ed’
