The experts said that “for very small children who have not heard about the events, it is helpful to turn off the radio and play music instead while they are at home or in the car.
“For children who are aware of the events, it may still be important to manage the content that they are exposed to. Turning off the radio when the incident is being discussed and talking with them about the events, at age-appropriate levels, can support their understanding and wellbeing.”
The Psychological Society of Ireland advised that parents have an important role to play in supporting their children at challenging times. They said it is helpful to listen and understand what your children already know about the events. This gives you the opportunity to correct any non-factual beliefs.
“It’s important for your child to ask any questions that they may have, and for you to answer as honestly as you can. Children are body talkers and body readers so they will naturally tune into your emotions. As a parent, it is okay to say ‘a terrible thing happened and we don’t know why’ and how unusual it is so we will have to wait to understand what and why this has happened.
“It is also okay to acknowledge how you as a parent feel about it, for example, ‘I feel very sad or angry that this took place’ or ‘I’m really confused and upset that people would behave like this’. Follow the child’s lead in the conversation and know that it is okay not to have all the answers.
“Children are kind-hearted and it may be helpful for them to feel they are doing something for the children who were hurt. You could write a get well soon card or a letter together to those affected,” the society said in a statement.
Ethnically diverse parents, who may feel afraid to send their child to school, should be aware that it is possible that their children will be at risk of vicarious trauma even if they are not personally targeted.
“Parents need to be careful about what they say, that they look beyond people’s skin colour or ethnic background and instead focus on people’s actions, such as the members of the community that stepped in to help those affected.
“Children notice parents’ behaviours and emotions and use them as guides to manage their own emotions during times of stress and crisis. Sometimes when overwhelming events happen, adults understandably respond by slipping into automatic pilot mode, trying to cope by looking after everyone else and not paying attention to their own emotions,” they added.
Adults acknowledging their own emotions and minding themselves at stressful times shows children how tune into and look after their own emotions and psychological wellbeing.
“Children will have their own worries and concerns about the events, some of which may seem far-removed or trivial to parents. But to them they are just as concerning as our biggest worries. As adults, we have a tendency to respond to children’s worries by saying to them, ‘Don’t worry about that’.
“Instead, we need to acknowledge to children that their worries are valid for example: ‘That must feel scary’. Normalise their worries by saying ‘I felt scared like that when…’ and then help them process their worries,” the Psychology Society said.